And he teaches me...

It's been about 2 months and three weeks since Dobbes came out of my womb and into my life and the experience has been breathtaking to say the least.

A whole new meaning of the phrase "being in the moment" has opened up for me. It's like I have been sleepwalking most of my life and suddenly I have a new pair of eyes, only for him.

It's not just because with a baby, you literally have to watch him all the time. He could turn his face into the pillow, get smothered in the blankets, suddenly attempt to roll over (the edge of the changing table) or remain absolutely still in your arms and then violently jerk his head backwards, missing that sharp corner of the bookcase by half an inch.

With Dobbes, watching him all the time has progressed from a paranoid first-time mother's fear that he may inadvertently be hurt to the sheer joy of basking in his presence. Every moment, every second my child is growing and learning something new and my being there makes a difference. To see him smile because I've made a face and to witness him struggle to let out his own voice and then scream with delight because he did, is a treat I cannot even begin to explain.

I cannot imagine missing out on hearing his first word, to be looking the other way when he attempts his first step, to not be able let him know it's okay when he takes his first tumble. Sometimes I catch myself drifting away when I'm carrying him or nodding off as I breastfeed at some ungodly hour, and often at the same exact moment he would make the cutest sound or pull at my hair as if to tell me, "Hey Momma, look at me. I'm here and I'm all yours."

There are many times in my life I'm on autopilot and I don't think, realistically, that would change. It makes a quick job of showering in the morning, the train ride faster, the ten minute walk from the station to the office in the blazing sun easier to bear. I take for granted that the wind blowing gently on my face is relaxing, that having help at home is convenient, that when I reach sleepily across the bed at night my husband's hand will automatically find mine.

But life also offers me many reasons to be fully present, and to reap the blessings bestowed. In Dobbes, I have found the biggest and most precious.

And because of him, my eyes are wide open.