Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Schools Of Thought

It is slightly dreaded yet necessary. The time has come to consider putting Dobbes in school.

I write/think of this with a kind of sick feeling that makes me slightly ashamed yet it is true. Not too long ago, I had just given birth to Dobbes, was breastfeeding him and saw him take his first steps. And now it s already time for uniforms, schedules, school??? It seems unbelievable! Before I know it, he'll be in a suit and tie (or hardhat cap and steel-toe boots - I'll love him all the same...) going off to work and forgetting to have breakfast...

Of course I have the choice to keep him at home for another year; school for Dobbes right now is by no means compulsory in the legal nor developmental sense.

Yet, weighing our options, Mobbes and I feel that it is something that would be good for him.

Like it or not, we need to face facts: Dobbes, along with being the sweetest/cutest/nicest smelling baby we know, is also starting to get clingy, suspicious of "small people" and feverishly energetic in the way that the confines of our humble house and the little playground downstairs leaves him wanting.

Also a fact: most if not all the time, when I'm home after work, I'm too tired to really engage him with reading or numbers or any kind of academic-type learning. (I do try pathetically from time to time but I doubt it does him any good...)

Dobbes turns two in November and before you know it he will be of an age to enter Kindergarten. Much as we'd like to keep him small and cute forever, we had to shed our frivolous tendencies and summon up the streak of parental responsibility we didn't know we possessed (maybe it came free in the hospital goodie bag they gave out when Dobbes was born...)

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Pre-school is the precursor to Nursery, Kindergarten and then even more dreaded, the P1 registration. I can't even believe I'm even thinking about it at this time, but I really am. And I can't help it! Because considering a pre-school (even with the intention of it being just directed playtime for Dobbes so that he gets to socialise with other kids and have some concept of "school") makes one think of choosing one where he will also be able to continue at for the nursey and Kindy part.

Then there is the question of, gosh, will this kindy prepare him well for elementary school, especially if he is entering the nightmarish local school system?

Spanner in the works.

Okay, okay, I have an idea! How about if we enter him in a good pre-school, one near our home, that has a good mixture of local and expat kids (so he doesn't develop a "katak bawah tempurung/frog in a well" insular mentality) a good environment, and a fun learn-through-play curriculum....

Then for kindergarten we send to to a PAP neighbourhood one! Cos I heard they are really rigorous in their P1 prep!!!!!!!

*warning bells, no sirens, resound*

I am hating what I can become..... the most dreaded of them all..... THE KIASU PARENT!!!!


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I have lurked around the kiasuparent.com forum from time to time, of course. I mean, I'm a Singaporean living in Singapore, and the people of the site can really, really be bothered to comment/list/kaypoh/exchange info to the best of their ability. So it is very useful to scan the discussions and pick out what is ... er, useful.

But for some reason, I simply cannot bring myself to participate and register. For the reasons below:

1. I'm really too lazy/busy having a good time with my life/kid to really participate, what is more contribute anything very useful

2. I'm afraid of becoming like them. Even if I am already (ineveitably) kiasu as a parent, birds of a feather flock together. And I'm not just not one of the flock.

3. Do parents really need to be so kiasu? I wonder. Sometimes I'm ready to just throw in the kiasu towel and just let what will be, will be. Draw straws or lots or toss a coin or whatever. As long as I love my kid and stand by him and make sure he knows it, how much can go wrong???


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Anyway, shopping is the one thing I will always love. And in a way, shopping for a pre-school is kind of fun! You get to attend trial classes or at least walk around the various kiddy premises to see what goes on.

I'm doing the shopping mostly vicariously through Mobbes as he is the one who is free during the day to check out places while they are in operation.

And even though he is not at all, the shopping type, he has - of his own accord - began rating places on a scale of 1 to 5. Mobbes' Meter for Preschools.

His gradings thus far:

Cherie Hearts Kids Kingdom: 2.8 out of 5
Pros: Walkable distance from the house, super convenient
Cons: "Cheena" environment, very new so not sure about reputation, only 4 kids in the playgroup

Shaws learning center at Mountbatten: 3.2 out of 5
Pros: Good basic play environment, teachers speak well, good mix of local/foreign kids, cute uniform
Cons: Dilapidated dwellings, construction site beside school, not very spacious, teachers a bit "auntie"

Schoolhouse by the Bay: 3.8 out of 5
Pros: Large, beautiful compound, nice outdoor/indoor areas, is like a town for kids! Teachers seem professional and energetic, Chinese native speaker teaching Mandarin
Cons: Mixed reviews on the Internet about school's administration system and curriculum (based on my virtual kaypoh-ing)

Odyssey at Wilkinson Road: 4.2 out of 5
Pros: Wonderful facilities, large outdoor play area, friendly teachers
Cons: Expensive!!!!!

The one below we went to look at together:

Rosemary Hill Montessori at Marina Square: 3.5 out of 5 (my grading)
Pros: Very structured curriculum with good progress report processes in place, near my office
Cons: Small, very small indoor area only and shared between preschool/nursery/kindergarten levels! Shared outdoor area at Mall. Not sure how safe...

So the preschool search continues. Today Mobbes will visit Rosemount and The Little Skoolhouse At-Fidelio. We have five months and counting. Let's see which fit is right...

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Almost all the mothers I know (with the exception of one or two) are worried about their kiddy picking up Singlish in school. On some level, I commisserate. After all, for the first six years of my life, I mostly spoke standard English with a smattering of Malay. Singlish was alien to me. English Language was an easy score in school but later on, at Uni and Teacher College, I struggled to explain good grammar and proper pronunciation. I didn't know how to explain grammar rules as I have never been taught them properly. I just knew certain things were correct and others, not.

But back to the issue of Singlish. Is it really someting to be feared? The child will inevitably pick it up, if the family plans to continue living in Singapore. In fact, would it not be worse for your kid to be ostracised as "the loser who don't understand us one" and have no friends?

Of course there are no worries of Singlish usage if he is placed in an international school. At $19,000++ a year, your worry will be elsewhere...

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Ultimately, the most kiasu thought of all when it comes to your child and schooling: "Will he do well?"

Left unsaid: the fear that your child will be either the dunce of the class or just stupid, in a class of his own.

Growing up, I was well-acquainted with the parental pressures of doing well in school. My first foray into formal academia only began at age five when I entered school, a Madrasah (Muslim religious school) in nearby Ipoh Lane. I had not attended preschool/nursery/kindergarten but on my first end of year exams, I topped the class.

Okay, granted, being in such a school I was not up against tough competition. No offense to my old primary school classmates (but come on, I'm sure you guys know that it is true, Malay-minah stereotypes notwithstanding).

But the thing is, once I was top, I had to be nothing but top... at least for my Dad. To get second, third or worst, 10th in class is a cause for punishment, long lectures and my favourite storybooks taken away.

The teachers didn't help much either. I remember Ustazahs (untrained Malay-Muslim female teachers coaching English, Math and Science, oh my!) who laughed at me and said I was talkative. Ok, maybe I was, but I was only trying to help them out by pointing out the mistakes they made in class.

Was I incorrigible? Maybe. Stupid? Well, I have a whole life to find that out.

The lesson as a parent? Being aware, remembering my own childhood and think about what I'd like to do differently (or for that matter similarly) for Dobbes.

And when all is said and done, it's really all about letting him go. Stupid or clever, I'll let him make his own mistakes. And love him anyway.

If only there is a school who can teach us that.

3 comments:

khadija said...

Very interesting post... I'm an Indian expat in Singapore, and found it really nice to come across such a refreshing post. I have always been curious to find out how the locals approach the whole idea of their children picking up Singlish. You are right about having to fit in.

freestate said...

Hi, Just curious - which school have you decided for your little one at the end?...since I am in the same boat and looks like visiting similar schools.thanks!

Little White Dot said...

Wow, I never know people actually read this blog! Sorry for not responding until now. Keyaan is currently attending Bethesda at Frankel; a church kindy. It's a great old-fashioned place with a warm nurturing environment though not with new-fangled teaching styles. Basically just a place for him to be a kid and have fun in pre-school. Fees are also reasonable.